Yeah, someone has to say it. Here’s a quick little rant. I personally think it’s sad seeing an elderly person struggling by themselves. Not too long ago, I made a post on Thread and received mixed responses. I never responded to the comments because I wanted to see everyone’s take on it.
The majority of people who have that mentality are folks with kids. Meaning, they have their own family to worry about. So they figure the parent(s) that raised them would just manage fine without them. As you probably know, that’s not the case at times. If you have ever watched a reality TV/documentary show, Hoarders. Which is a good, documented show, but disturbing, in my opinion, to watch. Sadly, most of the people on that show are middle-aged, close to elderly, and often widows. At times, it’s the adult children who finally decide to help their parents suffering from Hoarding Disorder (HD). Most of them just want to help fix up the place of residency so they can put it up for sale. Nonetheless, it’s the stress that keeps most adult children away from their aging parents. Mental health is a serious issue in society, and I do wish people would take it seriously. During the pandemic, that was the first time I recall mental health being at the forefront of topics alongside the obvious coronavirus. Believe it or not, it takes a huge toll on aging parents when they’re not cared for.
Now, there are a lot of people who have their own personal reasons for why they become distant from their parents. Some, like I already stated, have their own family to look after and care for, so they don’t have that much free time for them. And then there’s a more personal reason why they decide to distance themselves. Some unfortunately dealt with abuse and other traumas by their parents or others in the family, which they haven’t gotten over. If you think about it, you can’t blame them, and it’s understandable. But then some people were fortunate to be raised by good parents who were married and did all they could to provide for them when they were young. Those are the ones, in my opinion, who should be ashamed of themselves for ignoring their parents as they aged. I will go as far as saying it’s criminal to have a parent living alone without guidance, especially if they have health issues. Yes, I understand a lot of the elders whom I call delusional boomers (not in a disrespectful way) believe they can function and live better alone. Some can, and clearly some can’t. The ones that can’t should be placed in senior living facilities. Yes, I am well aware that it’s not cheap and at times very expensive. But those who are fortunate and financially stable should do the right thing and have their parents get the care that they deserve. At least have a nurse visit if not living at the residence with them.
It can be very stressful dealing with the stubbornness of an aging parent. That’s why I understand those who simply choose not to be bothered with it. Morally, it’s wrong to ignore, and if you don’t have a strong conscience, it might be easy for you to move on with your life. But to those who have that strong conscience that constantly eats at them daily, can’t escape it. Especially the ones that don’t have families of their own. So they look at their parents as the only thing that keeps them going in life. They feel like they’re entitled to do the right thing and be there for them. Because let’s face it, no one wants to deal with regret after their parent passes away and knowing that they could’ve spent more time with them. Regret might be the worst feeling of them all, and it’s hard to get over that. Not trying to open up emotional wounds or scare people, but just imagine you ignoring or being upset with your parents for years. It can be over a silly fight over something stupid, and now they’re in hospice. Trust me, that’s the last place you want to see your parent or any loved one in the final moments of their lives. Again, I know dealing with parents who have mental health issues is stressful and draining, but remember, you are all they have. If they took care of you while you were young, then you should do right by them. It doesn’t cost much to pick up the phone and call to check on them, especially if you live far away or out of state. Just set an example for your children, because you don’t want them to repeat how you treated your parents. You wouldn’t want them to forget about you as soon as they get married, become successful, or even have children. Remember, you only have one father and one mother by birth. You don’t get a redo.
Ps: Thank you to all the professional caregivers.
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